H2OhNo! We Did It So You Don’t Have To!

Just in case you were ever curious which water fountain in the school tastes the best–though we acknowledge that probably nobody’s ever asked this question–we, Casey Workman and Sean Tomasetto, have not only taste-tested, but also ranked every single water fountain in the entire school, excluding the ones that didn’t work, and then compared them to each other.

We wanted to do something that nobody else would have done, as well as something with just a touch of oddity and hilarity. Thus, as you see below, we have made a table showing each of our individual rankings, accompanied by specific notes we decided were imperative to each fountain.

 

Location Sean’s Score Casey’s Score Comments
H-Wing Corner 10 10 Supreme, good pressure, frosty good taste.
H-Wing by Exit 9 9 Tastes great, but fountain itself is damaged and without a lot of pressure.
Middle-F Bathrooms 9 9 Has a filter, decent pressure, temperature, and taste.
D-Wing Bathrooms 8 8 Has a filter, cold and tastes alright.
Upper-D Bathrooms 8 7 Has a filter, tastes good and cold, but has no pressure.
Atrium 8 7 Good pressure and cold.
Middle-E Bathrooms 7 8 Has a filter, weird taste but cold.
Upper-E Lounge 7 6 Good pressure and cold.
Choir Room 7 5 Cold, but doesn’t taste fresh.
G-Wing 6 5 Good pressure, but doesn’t taste very good.
B-Wing Main Entrance 5 5 Has a filter, no pressure but cold.
C-Wing Bathrooms 5 4 Good pressure but lukewarm and tastes bad.
Lower-E Bathrooms 4 4 Tastes like dungeon.
B-Wing Art Gallery 4 3 Very warm.
Lower-F Bathrooms 4 3 There was literal trash in the water fountain.
A-Wing 4 2 Also literal trash in this water fountain.
C-Wing Cafeteria 2 1 Very warm and very bad taste.

 

By our deduction and evaluation, we found that the fountain by H-Wing just before you turn the corner to the biology rooms is the best fountain in the entire building. If you go there, you will find a poster declaring its victory as best fountain, approved by Dr. Morton himself.

So whenever you find yourself desiring that your thirst be quenched in the school hallways, know where the nearest water fountain ranks on our list so that you will get the best bang for your hydrated buck. Stay curious. Stay thirsty.