Source: https://wallpapers.com/valentines-day
Photo courtesy of wallpapers.com
Throughout the years, Valentine’s Day has been a time of showing other people your love. But Valentine’s Day can also be a day for you to receive love back. In light of this, we’re going to look at the history of Valentine’s Day, as well as different ways you most like to receive love, as categorized by love languages.
To start, let’s talk about the history of Valentine’s Day. Valentine’s Day is celebrated on February 14th. However, Valentine’s Day was not celebrated as a day of romance until around the 14th century. The name “Valentine” comes from the person St. Valentine. Although there were many people named Valentine in third century Rome, the day may have been named after a priest who was martyred. When Emperor Claudius II decided to ban marriage, St. Valentine decided to secretly marry lovers anyway. But when his actions were discovered, he was killed.
According to one legend, Valentine, who was in prison at the time, sent the first “valentine,” which was a letter to his lover. Allegedly, the letter was signed “from your Valentine,” which is an expression we still write today. St. Valentine already had a flair for love. While some people believe that Valentine’s Day is celebrated on February 14 because of the anniversary of Valentine’s death, many others believe that it falls on the ides of February because it was an effort to Christianize the celebration of Lupercalia, which was a feast of fertility in ancient Rome. When the effort failed, the celebration of Luperalia was outlawed at the end of the 5th century. That was also the same time that Pope Gelasius declared February 14 as St. Valentine’s Day. St. Valentine’s Day was never seen as a time for romance, but a poet named Geoffrey Chaucer wrote a poem called “Parliament of Foules” in 1375, where he referred to February 14th being the day that birds and humans find their mates. After his poem received much attention from the public, Chaucer very well might have invented the romance part of the holiday that we call “Valentine’s Day” today.
Moving on from the history of Valentine’s Day, some aspects of this popular holiday are significant, and probably the most important one being the love languages. We all give and receive love in many ways, but did you know there are five languages? Heck, there’s even a book about the five love languages! Check out The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate, written in 1992 by Gary Chapman, if you’re interested in learning more. The five love languages are Physical Touch, Acts of Service, Gift Giving, Quality Time, and Words of Affirmation. Let’s break each one down.
Source: https://psiloveyou.xyz/5-things-you-need-to-know-if-your-partners-love-language-is-physical-touch-91513a9eb32
Photo courtesy of Medium.com
Starting with Physical Touch, if you’re a person who likes to give high fives, fist bumps, hugs, holding hands, kisses, etc, to the people you love, then your love language might be that. According to BetterHelp.com, it states, “A person whose love language is physical touch might feel that ‘actions speak louder than words.’” Those with the Physical Touch language would want you to be close to them. However, something that really affects them is when they do not receive hugs, fist bumps, etc. So if you have someone in your life who has this love language, make sure that you are staying by their side and make sure to “keep in touch” (hehe, get it?).
Source: https://www.glamourmagazine.co.uk/article/work-love-languages
Photo courtesy of Glamour.com
With the Acts of Service love language, if people you love will do random acts of kindness, such as doing a chore or a favor without you telling them, then you might relate to this love language. For example, some parents relate to this love language whenever they see their child do something for them without demanding them to. Acts of Service can sometimes take the weight off someone struggling and having a tough time. Like the Physical Touch love language, people firmly believe that actions impact more than words. Therefore, being lazy and not recognizing the person you love make them feel upset and unloved. Think about how you can do someone a simple favor and make them happy.
Source: https://www.simplypsychology.org/receiving-gifts-love-language.html
Photo courtesy of Simply Psychology
Next up is Gift Giving. If your love language is gift-giving, you enjoy giving gifts to your loved ones. This could be a small gift or a tremendous gift. Many websites, such as YouGov Today, Simply Psychology, and others, have stated that this specific love language is the least common in the U.S. Similarly, Acts of Service are second to last, so you should appreciate the people with this love language.
Sometimes, this love language can also be harmful, as the person giving the gift will feel hurt when they do not receive something back. Excessive gift-giving can also be an issue since it may make the receiver uncomfortable. However, according to “The Art of Giving” by Hiba Khatkhat, “excessive gift-giving can be a trauma response when you’re the rescuer. The rescuer is the helper and over-giver. The one who wants everything to be good and for everyone to feel good. It makes sense then you would engage in gift-giving as a tool to accomplish this.” She means that many people use this love language to forget about something traumatic and give gifts to those they love to help them cope.
At the same time, there also might be some people who are just very generous and would do anything to see a smile on their loved one’s face. So if you meet someone who loves gifting you things, be polite and friendly by giving them a “thank you” or “I appreciate it.” But if they get to the point where it’s making things uncomfortable, you should talk to the person and respectfully set boundaries to avoid destroying a relationship.
Source: https://news.yahoo.com/everything-quality-time-love-language-133000873.html?guccounter=1&guce_referrer=aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuZ29vZ2xlLmNvbS8&guce_referrer_sig=AQAAALTrdl35x30IHOLfePQw700pv9T-EqzImiNotsfYzkF034BUgYKwUfpDD12qHCo3Wei7lgp82_hqiamSUxlySUwAIoNtca7ws7ENMDMgaKKi4nZDUZU72eh-BpLNC-OYMH2a3piB6vFE6HRp3QtZCCJVu-UUvRlBPB2S7y_R_Xlr
Photo courtesy of Yahoo News
Second to last on the list is Quality Time. Quality time is spent in many ways. It could be going out on a walk with someone, going to the mall or favorite store, playing games or video games with your loved one, etc. Quality time is everywhere; it builds friendships, bonds, and relationships with others. In reality, most of our relationships with someone begin with a bit of quality time, then increase as the relationship continues. But, the issue with this is that sometimes, there isn’t enough quality time spent with someone, which can lead to depression, isolation, and shame. When you start noticing these signs with someone, acting quickly is essential. Spending more time with the people you care about will make them feel seen and adored. So remember to always spend lots of quality time with the people you love.
Source: https://www.aconsciousrethink.com/13585/words-of-affirmation-love-language/
Photo courtesy of A Conscious Rethink
Finally, we have Words of Affirmation. Many adults tend to have this love language. Many people believe that words speak louder than actions in this love language. This love language is usually ranked #3, but it tends to impact men much more. Usually, men are expected to be tough, strong, and brave. They are also likely not to hear compliments about them, saying they are intelligent, handsome, good-looking, etc. Words of Affirmation can make someone feel happy and comfortable and can even brighten someone’s day. While it doesn’t necessarily have to be a man, it could be a friend, family member, or even a stranger.
However, a few things can severely upset a person with this love language. In Sherri Gordon’s “How to Use Words of Affirmation in Your Relationship,” she states, “For this reason, people whose primary love language is words of affirmation are often extremely wounded and hurt by gaslighting, narcissism, and emotional abuse. Negative words, accusations, and criticisms are like daggers to their heart.” To elaborate, negativity affects the person a lot, so when in a relationship where you have someone with their love language as Words of Affirmation, be sure to think before you speak so that you don’t accidentally blurt out something harmful, and to say something positive often so that your relationship with the person is not damaged.
But let’s hear what the West community has to say! Chris and I created a poll, asking our students what the rankings of their love language are. 42.1% of responses are from seniors, 36.8% are from sophomores, 15.8% are from juniors, and 5.3% are from freshmen. Here are the overall rankings of our school’s love languages.
Source: Joel Vasquez-Home
Photo courtesy of Joel Vasquez-Home
The photo above shows the overall West community’s love languages rankings. In first place, most people found that Quality Time was their top love language. Next is physical touch, followed by Words of Affirmation. Fourth, it’s Acts of Service, and finally, in last place, it’s Gift Giving.
In conclusion, we’ve gone over the history of Valentine’s Day and all the five love languages that exist. Valentine’s Day is imminent; overall, the holiday is an excellent time to spend with your loved ones. Flowers, chocolates, and letters are usually the go-to options for a gift during this holiday. But remember to know what your partner’s love languages are so that eventually, you can strengthen your bond with them and create more memories that are yet to come.
Sources for the history of valentines: